February 13, 2020

Live with Carol Tuttle



All of you should know by now I am a big fan of Carol Tuttle and her parenting book and dressing your truth concept. We have a fun little chat the other day I wanted to share with you. Energy types and how they play a role in who we are as parents, children, and grown children learning to heal.

Here is a free video course on starting with the basics of energy types: http://www.liveyourtruth.com/259-12.html


Here are links for some of Carol's most popular products: Dressing Your Truth - ‪https://www.liveyourtruth.com/259.html‬ The Carol Tuttle Healing Center -https://www.liveyourtruth.com/259-7.html The Child Whisperer - https://www.liveyourtruth.com/259-2.html

February 3, 2020

A million reasons

This morning I woke up thinking about a tree I met many years ago. At the time I was a young college girl with the world at my fingertips. It was my 21st birthday, I was planning a wedding, and I couldn’t wait for the future. I felt sorry for that little tree. I stopped just a moment to listen to the story of how in a flash of light, its whole world changed. The story is said that when this tree was just small it was hit by a bolt of lighting—splitting it into many pieces. The little tree didn’t die—but for a long time it didn’t live either. Just fought. Then one day—as the story goes—life finally sprang again from its branches. Magnificent and unique . . . it found a way to get back up; way different than what it thought it had been created to be. It could no longer stand tall—but wow how it stood. Beautiful, brave, strong, and not just surviving . . . thriving. Many years had passed, and through many storms . . . there it stood.

I passed that tree hundreds of times—sometimes it was shade for cows in the hot sun, birds flew in and out of nests in its branches—every time I always remembered the story of its past. 

One day my drive passed this brave tree was very different. It stood at the bottom of a hill. One I knew I had to climb with my babies, to bury their father. The ground was covered in white—a lot like today—and there it’s snow covered branches reached out to me...and for the first time I didn’t see a broken little tree full of pain . . . I saw . . . hope. 

We all have a million reasons every day to just give up. Pain so real it could strangle us. Fear so strong it keeps us awake. Futures so unknown we feel like we are walking—or climbing that hill—in the dark. 

No matter our story...we are a lot like this little tree. Survivors who know what it is like to have a million reasons we aren’t going to be enough—fighting voices that tell us to just give up—but showing up anyway.

If a tiny tree can be hit so hard and broken so badly...but still stand anyway, so can we. A million reasons could keep us broken...but there are just as many that can keep us standing.

Reach those branches out proudly. If anyone knew the storms you have had to weather to stand so tall...they would know how much courage it took for you to hold them up. I can promise you this...God knows, and He is so proud of the magnificent, brave, warrior you have turned out to be. Hold your head up friends. Your story isn’t over. 


January 7, 2020

Looking in the mirror

Every year on January 1st, we look in the mirror with a resolve to be different than we were last year. A lot of times we set goals and lists of the things we want to be. Some years we follow through; other years our fears stop us before we even get a chance to begin. Not so much because we don’t want to be better, but more...afraid we might fail, or—even worse—we are scared we might actually succeed. We think: Who am I to be healthy? Who am I to be successful? What right to do I have to spend an entire year bettering myself when so many others need me? How could I possibly say no to that? How could I be strong enough to stand up for myself? Who am I to be organized?—I am just an overwhelmed person. 

Beliefs can change the way we see ourselves. Beliefs can stem clear back from our ancestors—trickling down through decades of patterns; or beliefs can cling to us after a life event shows us evidence of its “importance” in our minds. 

Wherever they come from, beliefs can hold us back in ways we can’t even see. Threatening us to fail...and mocking us if we try to succeed. 

So what do you want this year? Who do you want to become? You might have to start by asking yourself what beliefs are in play right now that will stop you from those goals? We are all really good at making lists of things we want ourselves—or others—to do better. We are all great at talking about change, but until we understand why we are the way that we are...most of the time we will find ourselves wishing for the same change year after year, never understanding why we can’t succeed. 

Fear. Where did you come from? 

Do you find yourself looking in the mirror and thinking, “my mother was right...I would be more lovable if I could just lose some weight?” Or “Just like my dad...I will never be good at ...” Do your fears and insecurities come from years of training—watching others you look up to hold themselves back...or are they originals you created in your own mind to “protect” yourself from humiliation and failure? 

Look into that mirror again. What do you see? Your fears might tell you that you see a person struggling, a person unworthy, a person broken. You might see all you didn’t like about your mother or father—things you said you never wanted to become. You might see flaws and cracks—someone to hate. 

Look into the mirror one more time. Look a little deeper. What do your truths say? If you could erase all the lies—the ones you carry deep, the ones you think are so invisible and covered, the ones that have played for generations, the ones that you have spent a life time gathering—who would you be then? If you didn’t hear your haters voices echo inside of you, or the dude in your head telling you of all that you are not...what would be left? You know what it would be? An amazing, beautiful, worthy child of God. That is your truth. 

Without fears and insecurities and blocks about who we think we are—or who we are afraid others believe us to be—we find our true selves. Not broken people who write lists or goals of an ideal version of what we never truly believe we can become. Without the lies...all that is left is the truth. Without the lies...we find—who we were always meant to be. 

Your life has been tough. That is for sure. Warriors are the ones who survive the hard stuff—not losers. Your story didn’t break you....or else you would not still be here. You have walked through the heaviest parts with grace because you are strong. So start believing it. Live that truth and tell the fear it is time to go. You know the only thing that has ever held you back...is you. So write the list this year armed with truth. Set goals—not out of fear of who you think you have to be, but—with faith that you will just remember who you are. 






-I love this phase when babies start to find themselves in the mirror, though the twins never got too excited because they basically had a mirror in front of them at all times! πŸ˜‚ Happy New Year friends. Thanks for being here and always supporting us! We love you. 

December 11, 2019

Two Christmases

https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/i-need-a-favor-we-had-nothing-under-our-christmas-tree-the-only-thing-i-was-able-to-purchase-was-a-nail-polish-i-need-you-to-be-ok/

Love what Matters shared my nail polish story from last year. ❤️ Two Christmases I will never forget.

December 4, 2019

Resilience

Walked into the room to these two smiley faces...made my day. 😍😍

So, I have been taking some classes on childhood trauma, and today in a video something really stood out to me. They were talking about traumatized children and adults and how each of us have things from our past that trigger us to our fears—no one being exempt but especially people who have suffered severe trauma. They shared some examples of parents responding out of fear to their children, and children reactIng to their own triggers. At the end of all the examples the question was asked, “What do you think makes the biggest difference to help these children cope?” My first thought was: obviously perfect parents that never ever react or get triggered and know how to handle and guide their kids through their fear. The teacher’s answer is what really stuck with me. The children who are the most successful in overcoming trauma and working through their fear aren’t the ones who have perfect parents...they are the ones who have parents who get triggered, make mistakes, say they are sorry, and make things right. 



 We don’t lead by example by being perfect—in that world our imperfect children have no room for making mistakes—we lead by showing them that mistakes are fixable, and that asking for forgiveness is empowering. We lead imperfect people the best by being ok with being imperfect ourselves...and having enough humility to admit when we mess up. So hats off to all of us imperfect parents...our kids have hope after all. πŸ‘ŠπŸΌπŸ˜œ #kicktraumaintheface #yougotthis 

November 21, 2019

Keep baking

Monday morning I was making breakfast and talking with Kaleeya and Tytus as they sat very chatty at the bar. In between flipping crepes I was trying to get all the clean Sunday dinner pots and pans put away so we could see the rest of the counter top. In mid sentence Tytus stopped, pointed and half laughing joked, “Hey Mom...maybe just buy a new pan that doesn’t have your life history on it.” I looked down to the oldest cookie sheet man has ever known...with two last names scribbled out and one more written boldly. We all burst into hysterics—I haven’t laughed that hard in such a long time. These kids are so witty. 

Since Dateline first told about Emmett’s affairs and shooting 6 years ago, and many other murder mystery shows have since, I always know when an episode about our story—or Dr. Phil—has aired again. I gain a lot of new friends, but I also find enemies—messages of hate trying to make me feel as if I should be ashamed of myself. This week has been one of those weeks. Yesterday as I read a message from a very passionate soul, I sat stunned at the gumption of her direct words about who she believes I am. In a moment of being human, I let her words enter my heart. Weirdly enough they came in the form of my own fears...”Wow. Your relationship with a cookie sheet has lasted longer than any marriage you have had”. 

It’s true. This cookie sheet has literally stood by my side longer than these five kids got to see their father and longer than I got to be Jordyn’s mom. I remember the exact moment we started out—me and this cookie sheet. We thought we had the world at our fingertips. We dreamed of one day cooking Christmas ornaments with tiny baby hands. We dreamed of the cookies we would bake on their first day of school. Birthday cakes and card game trays on road trips. Brand new and shinny it glistened with promises of years to come. We both couldn’t wait to get started. 

As I stare at this old cookie sheet, I have begun to realize how different real life has been from the one we imagined...but...most of our dreams have come true. We are both a little stained and burned in some spots...but we have lived our dreams—just in a whole different way than we had planned. Well guess what? I made cookies on that tattered little pan and they cooked just as they always have. They were delicious and toasty brown—just as they were 15 years ago—and everyone loved them. 

I used to spend a lot of time feeling ashamed that life has handed me so many struggles—and just as many last names. I used to think that happiness was never having to change—living without loss and failure. I used to think that what others thought of me was important. Now I know...this was always the plan. We get to keep finding our worth even when others can’t see it. 


Kind of like my little “life history” cookie sheet...we all find ourselves in different circumstances. Some might be ideal, others might be a season of maturing and growth. We might get burned. Some days we might do the burning. We might get lost for a while when we get dropped behind a broken drawer. We will make mistakes, forget to set timers, forget to prepare for the heat, or forget to dust ourselves off...but we are still worthy of making greatness. Capable of bringing smiles simply by doing what we were created to do. Bake cookies. Live life. 

You aren’t alone. You have been burned and sometimes forgotten. You have felt broken and have looked back and wished you could shine like you used to. Just keep baking anyway. You  have so much to offer, and if no one can see it right now...just know your worth simply by all you can do for others. Know your worth doesn’t come from another person—but from within. Truths about who you are will never be replaced by what another believes you to be. Truths about who you really are don’t come from years of searching...they come by moments of remembering. You were born for greatness. Keep baking. 






November 9, 2019

The ending

Every time I struggle in a moment of weakness—as I am triggered to the anger of the hurt others have caused me and my children—I repeat this message over and over in my mind. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” (Lewis Smedes)


As a person who fights to forgive an actual prisoner, I can promise you that the chains he wears are nothing compared to the chains that have many times tried to hold me back. They have the power to turn my heart black in a split second and fear to empower my every insecurity, every thought, and strangle every breath. Forgiveness in this story isn’t for him...it’s for me. So I can be free. 


If you have someone in your story that is still suffocating your moments...PRAY. Pray to forgive. It might not change the chapters so far, but I promise it will change the ending. 


November 7, 2019

Brave warrior

I always thought it was ideal to have all my kids close together and be done by 30. I loved spacing them about two years apart and being “done” at 28—It is crazy to think about what my life would be if everything went according to MY plan. I can promise you it wouldn’t have involved infidelity or murder. I would have never had to face divorce or miscarriages or watch my children hurt in ways they could not even put into words. I would have never had to bury friends, aunts and uncles, in laws, cousins, and grandparents. I would have never had to battle depression, anxiety, or PTSD. The truth is we never plan to hurt, lose, be betrayed, or get knocked off our feet—but we do. And some how feel super surprised when we have a hard time getting back up. Looking back thinking, “Wait I thought I already did the hard parts.”

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In the war in Heaven there were two sides. One with the idea that life should be easy and we wouldn’t have to work to return home, then Christ told his plan where we would go through trials and our faith would be tested and each day we would have to fight to remember Him—nothing given. We chose the second plan. We knew coming here would not be easy, and that to make it back to Him we would have trials that make us strong, we would face hard things...one of those being given opportunities to trust in His plan. 

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So here we are. Doing just that. Living plans that require faith in more than just ourselves. Forgiving people who hurt us. Taking steps with one foot in front of the other each day, even when it is hard. Saying goodbye to people we love, saying hello to strangers that become family, holding each other’s hands through the hard, and living stories we did not choose. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, and yet life is pretty beautiful. Each day something giving us a little hope that we will make it through. Each moment a lesson to help us learn everything we have to learn to become those brave warrior spirits we were sent here to become. 


You are amazing. Your story is incredible, and no one could have lived through it...but you. And you are doing an amazing job. Hold your head high brave warrior!


November 5, 2019

Twins room

For everyone asking  about details on the twins room from my Instagram stories ... I am going to put some information here so you can find the things you were looking for.




Loft bed

Beddy’s Beds (zip up) (use code MOMENTS20 for 20% off!)

dressers


Similar to Ross decorations:

White fluffy Pillows

Gray fluffy pillows

Sparkle pillow

Knit pillows

Crate boxes

Lamp

Good mom

I woke up in the middle of the night last week and wrote down a few sentences—beliefs really—that kept playing in my head. A few days later Tytus slid my planner under my bathroom door and underneath the beliefs I had written he wrote, “Mom this isn’t true. Love, Tytus”

“If my child is in pain...then I am not a good mom.” “If my child isn’t happy...than I am not a good mom.” Two sentences that sound so untrue when you write them out...but in application are so hard to see that they are just insecure lies Satan wants us to believe so we spend our lives feeling like failures when our children can’t seem to find happiness, allowing guilt when our children are in pain, and ultimately not being the parents we truly want to be all the while hiding behind beliefs that shame our every move.

For three weeks, night and day I have had to do stretches with Kennady’s tongue, basically ask her where it hurts the most and stick my finger on it and rub and pull. The first few times I burst into tears as I listened to her scream—at a pain—in all reality—I was causing. I failed for days to remember that these stretches ultimately were for her good, insured change in her mouth , and a necessary part of her healing. During these same three weeks Tytus has discovered some realities about his past and hasn’t had an easy time handling the ‘whys’ we had all faced 8 years ago. So this night when I awakened to some beliefs that had been suffocating me I laid in bed pondering what parenting looks like without guilt. It is freeing! So many times we feel guilty when our kids aren’t happy...and many times go out of our way to make sure they are. Which ultimately—can and does, if left unchecked—creates children who are entitled or think the whole world has to revolve around them. Sometimes we fail to see it is the stretching and struggle that strengthen and heal.

Pain and unhappiness...we will feel them, and so will our kids. No MATTER what we as parents do. So. In case you are feeling suffocated by a belief that you can save someone from their misery or protect them from their pain...you can’t. But you can sure cheer them on as they figure it all out. Parenthood. You got this! πŸ‘ŠπŸΌ


 
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