5 steps to a happier today

Have you ever found yourself waiting—wating for life to really start—waiting to lose weight to be happy? Waiting for a better job to help you feel fulfilled? Waiting for your soul mate to come and make you feel loved? Waiting to like yourself, waiting to give your whole heart to another?

If you have . . . you are like a large percentage of the world. I have to slow myself down daily to remember that happiness isn’t a destination—it is a state of mind.

Here are five ways I have found that work to be happy in the present.

1. Be genuine. Be real. Let yourself feel—even the emotions that are easier to avoid. Avoidance points to the future for happiness, where acknowledging the fear or feeling in the present reminds our soul that it is ok to feel safe where we are. A future happiness always seems to be a long ways off if we can’t feel—all emotions— in the present.

2. Look for the blessings. Some days are pretty dark, but from my experience there is still light in each one. Sometimes it is not too easy to find, but if we purposefully look for it—we will almost always find it. I knew a lady who was in the hospital for an extended period of time. When I went to visit her, she didn’t talk about the pain, or the new reality of her sickness—she talked about her visitors, the flowers sent, and the kind people who were taking care of her. She was looking for the blessings in a moment others might just see the curse.

3. Be present. Put down your damn phone. Put away your computer. Don’t keep yourself mindlessly “busy” all the time. See the people right in front of you. Serve them. Show up for them. Happiness is found when we share our light, and we cannot just find that in a virtual world . . . we have to feel it with our hands, and smell it with our noses, and taste it with our mouths—we have to do it in our real world. Being present changes the way we see people, and our role in their lives. We stop waiting for others to show up for us . . . and we just do it for them instead.

4. Remember your truths. Before we came to earth we were created with many gifts, and talents, and truths. Along the way, here on earth, sometimes our connection to these feel lost or forgotten. Spend some time reevaluating the voices in your head—which ones bring you light, and which ones make you feel dark. Give the dark ones to the Savior and magnify the truths that make you feel like you. Living those will bring you eternal joy.

5. Live what you believe. Spend some time with your thoughts. Do you have a passion that you think others will look down on? Do you have a goal you are too afraid to take the steps to create? What do you believe? Do you have a standard you know is true, but you can’t figure out how to live? Decide today what you believe—not what others have told you you should think, or you think others want you to believe. Be bold enough to live YOUR life. Joy comes in being vulnerable, and honest, and living what we believe.

I know that we all have some pretty dark stories, that try to hold us back, but I also believe that life is still worth living. I know we are all creatures worthy of love—the kind that lasts forever—the kind we can only learn from God. Each day takes effort. We can’t give up, even when it feels like the only option left.

Today I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone—take a bold step to find happiness where you are. You just might like the person you find who isn’t trapped in fear. Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud five things you love about being you.

Happiness is remembering your worth no matter where you are.

Forgiveness and widowhood

Utah's Former Sergeant Derek Johnson’s wife Shante sharing her journey of widowhood and moving forward after loss and through grief. I love how she describes her forgiveness and how in a moment she was able to let it go. A great example for the rest of us who battle the anger and hate. 

Life after losing a child

Alesha Penland sharing hope after the loss of her son Lincoln. I love her perspective on forgiveness and moving forward. Thank you Alesha for being brave today and sharing your heart with me.

Fight Like Girls

My friend Bre from Fight like Girls. This fight of hers gets me every time, but also reminds me to keep going. Thanks for letting me interview you today beautiful lady.You are a light to so many woman, and a great reminder that we can do hard things.










Also, don't miss the announcement on A Reason to Stand. Another conference in the works (Nov 10th, and a some big changes going to announced that day!) Hope to see you there.

Orem, Utah "A Reason to Stand" November 10th, 2018

Hey guys. I have some fun news I wanted to share...

A Reason to Stand: Enough

November 10, 2018

1641 N. State Street 

Finally. A Reason to Stand. Just like last Fall, we are heading back to Utah!!! Orem, Utah to be exact. Come and see us! Can't wait to catch up with everyone. It has been too long.

This conference is going to be extra special, as we have a few really BIG announcements!!! So please don't miss it. We need all of our supporters there ready to celebrate with us. See you in a few months!

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There is hope

I have received many messages from people asking me what my story is. So if you are new here—welcome—and let me take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Ashlee. I am a mother to five kids (13,13,11,9, and 7 years old). The Moments We Stand is the name of my blog that started as a healing journal for me after a month long murder trial didn’t lead me to the peace, I spend almost two years, imagining it would. 

After the birth of our fifth child my husband Emmett was shot two times—once in the heart and once in the forehead—by the husband of a secret mistresses I didn’t know he had. I spent the next two years waiting to take a breath as the murder trail got pushed back month after month. As the trial finally ended, I realized the magnitude of the chains I was wrapped in. I had become a victim—literally on the bench in a courtroom and by the fears in my own mind. Then one day God gave me a gift. He asked me to own my story. To write my fears and vulnerably share my insecurities with anyone who asked me how it felt. And that is the mission I have been on ever since. Seven years later I am a remarried, divorced, widow on a mission to help others know they are not alone, find their worth, and remember their truths. And guess what? I am happy. Widowhood, divorce, parenting, remarriage, and murder are not the things that make me who I am—they are just parts of my story. Who I am is a daughter of God who has learned so many lessons—on a path I didn’t choose—that was created just for me, to help me keep striving to become the best version of who God sent me here to be. I am enough. And so are you. Whatever your story, whatever dark paths you have walked—YOU are loved, valuable, unique, and YOU are enough. Heavenly Father makes no mistakes and I believe if we remember Christ on all the paths we walk—our story will be filled with His grace. 

We can be a light no matter how much darkness we have had to endure. You can find my story on my blog or books. Start at the beginning! I hope you feel the grace that has been part of your journey as you read about mine. Miracles, are real, they don’t always take away the pain, but they always bring the light! There is hope. 

Read it

My sisters and I are reading a book for a "The Finer things club" (The Office). Read a long with us? This months book . . . The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.  I started today and am half way through it. You won't regret it. I love her perspective and love her view of owning our own happiness and being the happy woman our partners deserve. So great.

Let me know your thoughts and feeling in the comments. Happy reading.




(Click on the book to find it on Amazon.)

What does betrayal feel like?

What does betrayal feel like? Let's talk about betrayal trauma for a minute, since none of us like to. Have you gone through betrayal? Do you find yourself stuck in those emotions and fears? Has it made you feel alone?



Well I just want you to know you are not. And this was not your fault or even about you. It was about them. Time to give yourself permission to move forward and start loving yourself and trusting again.

A call to all fathers

A few months ago I met a new friend —after speaking at a church—who approached me and asked if I would be interested in sharing my message with a big group of business men. At first I thought, “what would I have to offer a bunch of men?...” and then he proceeded to tell me about a statistic he keeps finding every where he looks. When asked what is most important to them...he finds most business men instantly say, “my family” but after more conversation he learns that most of these same men only spend about 1% of their time with their families. 

The past few days I have been reminded why that statistic is something I am passionate about changing. Fathers...we need YOU. This video and post are about a little car ride and a note in the night that helped me remember a message I can’t hold back any more. 

After a car ride with six thirteen year old girls I spent the next two days struggling with some hard truths. There are a lot of kids with the same story.

This message is to all Fathers. You are valuable and your kids need you.

They  need your strengths and your gifts. They need you to wrestle them and throw the ball to them. They need your time and your love.

They  need you to show them what a real man looks like. If we want our daughters to find a man that treats them right and honors their promises, then we have to show them what that kind of a man looks like.

Love their mothers. Be kind to the woman in their life.

Respect and honor your family. Not by working your life away or running from your problems, but by showing up every day.

With love and honor and virtue. Live your truths. Be the kind of man you want your daughter to want to marry someday.

Yesterday would have been Emmett's 38th birthday. If he were here I know there are many things he would say to all the fathers in his life. And I am sure as he watched his five children celebrate, for the 7th time, without him . . . Emmett wants all Father's to remember this:

We only get one chance to raise them. Don't waste your days making extra dollars or bigger muscles, use your days making extra memories and more smiles. 

Children deserve a father who teaches them how to use grace, we don't need to be perfect, just humble. Children deserve a father who is there for them. Chose choices that keep you safe and go home every night. Children deserve to see their parents as often as possible. Children deserve peace. Do all that you can to give them stability and consistency. 

Be their friend, but also their father. Teach them to love others over themselves. Show them how to find their purpose, tell them every day that being their dad is one of yours. 

Believe in your kids. Encourage them, tell them they are good. Use words to lift them up, but always use actions to help them believe your words. Don't spend your days wishing they were different, I promise you will wish this time back someday. 

Live for them now, so you don't regret the life you didn't get to give them. Don't let the darkness make you loose sight of what is important, no amount of money, or flattery, or praise from the world will make up for the broken hearts who needed you. 

Never put another person, including yourself, above your family. They deserve the best parts of you. Your family will always remember the person you are today, but the man you show up to be tomorrow, they will never forget. Don't die with regrets . . . that is hell. And to live with purpose, that is how you find heaven. 

God gave you this gift of fatherhood, make it count. Take control of what really is important to you, and be that man today. We have enough fatherless children, go home and tell them you love them. 

Now is your time, please, please don't wait. Before it is too late. Make it right. No matter how far you have gone away, turn back and start again. 

No regrets. Love them unconditionally, that is the greatest gift they need right now, not money. The most important gift you can give your children today . . . is YOU. 

Be the man you always wanted to be. I promise you won't regret it. 


What do you want your children's story to be? Today they are writing it. No matter where you have been, I urge you to figure out your crap and go show up as the one they deserve. I know it is possible!!! Fear will tell you it doesn't matter. But it does. Today we act for ourselves, instead of living out of fear. Fear is what takes a father away. Fear they need to make more money to be valuable. Fear they need to be perfect before they can go home and be the father their kids deserve. Fear they aren't enough, stops them from being anything.

To the many children who have felt abandoned, forgotten, or alone. This was not your fault. You are still lovable, and worthy of an amazing life. Forgive the one who didn't give you all you deserved and believe in the future. You didn't choose this story, and you can decide how it ends. Be everything for your children, and the people in your life, that they weren't for you. Turn it into good. You have the power to change their story.

The parts of our stories we can't control, are only a fraction of the ones we are meant to live. You can make a difference, in your story, and in the story of all the people you were born to love.

Hi 5 Live with Ashlee

I was asked to be on a Facebook Live show called Hi 5 Live. Somehow my phone saved the recording. So bonus. I posted it on Youtube. It is Emmett's birthday today, thank you all for sending love for him. We will take it on to his family this weekend at their annual birthday celebration. Have a great weekend.

To read more about these stories I shared on this episode click on the link below:
A few hard days and then faith in the plan