February 12, 2016

ONLINE Event

A Reason to Stand is growing! After a great conference last May in Boise, and a wonderful weekend in October in Ogden, Utah . . . we are back at it. 

I have been spending a lot of time planning live events over the last year, with the hopes to get enough funds to take this conference around the nation. While that is in the works, I am wanting to share these messages with more people. So this time around I have teamed up with Mothers Who Know to do one of the days of the conference online. 

So if you can't make it to Boise on March 5th, please join us March 4th online! It will be interactive and like the live event . . . only you can watch it in your pjs.

 For Valentines the tickets are half price with the code LOVE, making it only 10.00! Please spread the word and get your spot reserved. These presenters are all incredible and they will be teaching about our theme for this year "forgiveness from within". 

Registration is here:

Please email me with any questions you have. Hope to see you in a few weeks! 


Alone

                               http://familyshare.com/how-to-find-love-when-you-feel-alone


February 11, 2016

Our own Happily Ever After



And there she was—at Happily Ever After. Her prince had come, her kingdom had been saved and everything was just as it should be. We have seen it in movies over and over again. Life was feeling like it was falling apart, but then it was saved. The ending comes and all is right in the kingdom.

We have seen it in our own life. It feels like everything is falling apart. Sometimes we wait a long time for those grand resolves, and a lot of times they do come—usually with an unspoken expectation that we have finally reached our Happily Ever After. Only in life, as opposed to the movies, they don’t seem to last. One problem resolved, is—more often than not—followed by a new problem.

For a lot of us, we see the grand resolves like a rainbow, shining bright with a promise that this struggle will be the last. The high of overcoming the obstacle is followed with a breath of relief that hard times are finally behind us.

And then, when the next struggle comes it takes us by total surprise. Every time. Inside it's like we are screaming But what about Happily Ever After? 

I made a pack when I was just a kid that I would live happily ever after. I promised myself that I would be like the princesses in the movie—where the kingdom was always saved and the knights were always shinning.

So these moments where conflicts need to be resolved, I almost take it personal that technically I shouldn’t be putting myself in these sorts of situations. Lets put it a little more frankly. I am a bit of a control freak. I want happily ever after—but I want it right now.

I don’t want to feel like I am always working so hard. I don’t want to have to go to the doctor to stitch up hands. I don’t want my husband to disagree with me about anything. I don’t want those I love to hurt, or struggle, or make mistakes. I don’t want to ever lose anyone to death. I want people to see things my way, so we can all make it together to my envisioned Happily Ever After. It truly is a magnificent place, in my mind.

But there is one problem. It doesn’t exist how I keep trying to make it— where everyone makes the right choices, and nobody hurts any more—it isn’t a real place. At least not anywhere I have been on this planet.

So what are we supposed to learn? Why are we living in a world that is so imperfect? Why must we continue to lose sight of the plans we have created for ourselves? Why does life have to be so dang hard?

I asked these questions to God this morning and He let me in on a little secret. This was always the plan.

Every day we will get to prove where we stand. We will get to show not only our own personal growth, but the strength we have found as we have turned to God. He has given us grace—not just to use when we die—but to help us live. Without opposition, we can easily forget about God. Without the conflicts needing to be resolved, our pride tells us the kingdom was saved by our own strength.

So guess its time to strap up our boots and quit getting stuck in the mud. Drop our expectations of living a Hollywood version of our life . . . and prepare to be rerouted. 

There will be conflicts to resolve, and kingdoms to save. This we all know to be true. But life can still be beautiful . . . through the dark times, and the light; through the high times and the lows. Grace is real, every minute of every day.

Satan had a plan similar to mine—where everyone would just do what they should to make it super easy to find Happily Ever After. But instead God made a better plan—one where we get to prove that we want it bad enough.

Prepare for some surprises along the way, but also a Happily Ever After better than anything we could ever imagine.





February 9, 2016

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have

"My name is Jensen Parrish Hall. On February 22, 2014, my mother, father, and two youngest brothers were killed in a carbon monoxide accident. There was a malfunction in our water heater, and the poisonous gas filled our home."
"I’ll never forget the night I found out, as I laid in bed, unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, a thought came into my head. It said, “Jensen. This is going to be hard. You need to make a decision. Are you going to become bitter and angry, or are you going to trust me?” Though my world felt broken and confused, and though fear was in my heart, I remember deciding I was going to be strong."
Read more of Jensen's story here:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have

Calling all businesses...

It is that time again.  A little less than a month until A Reason to Stand. I am looking for fun businesses to partner with and collaborate for giveaways online (March 4th) and Boise (March 5th)! I would love to partner with you! Do you, or someone you know have a business that would be a good fit for a sponsor or donation? We have had so much fun the last two conferences getting to know and teaching others about quality businesses! Please contact me for more information. themomentswestand@gmail.com

Thanks so much!


February 6, 2016

Valentines Day Giveaway

***GIVEAWAY***

Just in time for Valentines Day I want to give away a ticket to A Reason to Stand online day March 4th along with both of my books. (or if the winner will be in the Boise Idaho area, you can have the option to get a ticket for the live event on March 5th)

To enter:
1.Tag a friend who deserves to feel loved this week
2. Leave a comment on something you love about yourself

I will pick a winner on Valentines Day. One here, one on Facebook, and one on Instagram. Love yourself this week!

*If you are looking for a good Valentines day present for yourself or someone you love, this week tickets to both online and Boise will be half off with the code "LOVE" at checkout on www.areasontostand.com
 

February 5, 2016

LOVE: How to find love when you feel alone

As Valentines Day approaches love is in the air. 

Love. 

We all want it. We want to give it. We want to receive it. We want it to surround us. Sometimes we wait around for love to come and complete us, other times it takes us by surprise. But love—or the lack of it—drives us.

I think to some extent, or at some time in our life, we all battle the false belief that we are not enough; aren’t loveable; are worthless; are unworthy; or in someway do not add up to an ideal we—or we think others—perceive we should be.

So how on earth are we all going to love each other when many days our own self-love is in question? How can we give ourselves to another person fully, if we are still trying to figure out who that self is?

I have been down this road many times in my life—battling beliefs that tried to drown out all truths. I remember as a young high school girl thinking that I would truly find who I was when I found the right guy to tell me so. And yet—every time anyone would get close enough I would push him away.

And so it went. I had little trust in men—and little faith in myself. But I still looked for love, and felt I needed it to be whole.

Then one day, there he was. He swept me off my feet and for the first time I let down my guard. He became my sense of worth. Every whisper in my ear was my motivation to be better. Every word he spoke encouraged me to remember how amazing I was.

Our wedding day was sweet. I felt beautiful and worthy. Children born brought even more fulfillment, as he encouraged me as their mother. Every sense of who I wanted to be came from his approval.

For years this newfound feeling of worth was empowering. He believed in me. He saw me. I found great joy in being a wife and a mother. It completed and fulfilled me. Life was busy, and the days were long—but I was living my dreams.

Looking back now I should have known better than to build my worth on living a dream. I wish I had figured out on my own that I had value and purpose. I wish I would have known that finding it in another person could be life shattering.

A few months after our fifth child was born, that lie found me again. Only this time it was weaved with actual proof that I had not been enough. In a matter of seconds I learned of two bullets that would change me. Two bullets that not only ripped into my husband’s chest and forehead—they would sound in my mind for years to come. Those bullets told tales of the lies that were defiling everything I thought I had—they told the secrets I had not known. Those bullets were proof that what I had believed all those years ago was true—I was not enough. Not for my husband, or the other woman and her husband—not for the gun. Nobody.

Tears don’t cry out the feeling that you are not enough. They just build it stronger.

I have remarried an amazing man who has helped me heal in so many ways. We have had many ups and downs. We have fought to see each other, but this time has been much harder—knowing how easy it is to lose—giving my whole heart. The first years of our marriage I longed to feel whole and to give him what I felt he deserved as a husband. I wanted to be the carefree girl who put everything into him and based her happiness on his love—but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to love, because I still hated myself and longed for all the sense of worth I thought I had lost when that gun fired.

Well next month it will have been five years. And I have learned a thing or two about those lies. They aren’t what is real. I have learned many truths that I work every day to replace them.
  
We have to love ourselves. Not in a egotistical kind of way, but in an eternal worth kind of way. Finding love for our self is hard. We are our own worst enemies when we are believing our own lies. Fear is our constant companion when we are waiting around for the ones who don't come, or don't love us in the ways we think we deserve. 

Happiness is a choice. We cannot base our happiness on anything or anyone that we can one day lose. Others can add to our happiness, but cannot be the foundation of our worth. Happiness can be ours even when others are not making good choices or do not see us how we want to be seen; we can even be happy when others are miserable. And that is truth I can finally clearly see. Someday I will perfectly live this truth—but until then I will do my best trying.

Being enough comes from within ourselves as a gift from God. Being enough doesn’t come from another person. Changing this lie to a truth can be liberating, but it can only be changed by truths from within. Forgiveness of—not only those who have not been there for you but—yourself. The first step is realizing that it was a lie you had told yourself over and over again . . . that it was some else’s job to create your happiness.  

Connecting ourselves—not to another person to give us that sense of who we are—but to our true self and to God.  I wish that came naturally for me. I wish twelve years ago before I said, “I DO!” to a man, I would have first said it to me.

So to all you ladies (and gentlemen) who think that love will solve the voids inside—please don’t wait. Love is not something you have to wait around for. It is a gift you will much better be able to give once you know to do it alone. Turn to God for your sense of worth. He will always be there and see you as the perfect creation you are.


 It is not others that make us a princess, it is God that sees us as a queen. It is not men that make us great. It is Him.
(Bailey Halloween 2008)




*I sat down at my computer to write a Valentines article for Deseret, and instead wrote this. I have been speaking at a lot of singles events lately and this is a truth I have been thinking a lot about. And as I prepare for A Reason to Stand on March 4th (online) and 5th (live in Boise) I have had many opportunities to contemplate the true meaning of forgiveness of others and of self. 

Valentines Day is just another day. It doesn't have to be a reminder of all we do not have, or all we have lost.  It can be a day to remember some truths about the real purpose of love and how to find it within ourselves. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! 

January 31, 2016

His Grace


This talk has meant a lot to me and Shawn. We listen to it often, and have learned something new every time. A perfect description of what we believe grace means.

January 29, 2016

Forgiveness

I am so honored to be hosting this conference in Boise again. Excited to start announcing presenters next week. I know there are so many of our friends in the Boise area who could benefit form this conference. And even more around the world for the online day that Friday. Please pass on the info and help me share this message!
"Forgiveness from within" is the theme this year and each presenter and class is going to be about tools and experiences centered around forgiveness. 
Forgiveness is such a unique journey for every one of us, but is so important in our healing. As we learn the tools of true forgiveness, grace becomes possible in our stories. 
I know so many--if not all of us--have a story that has been hard. This conference doesn't just unite victims to empower each other. It will deliver tools to survivors who are ready to live life unfrozen. It will empower not only your mind, but your spirit to reach deep inside the broken pieces and fill your emptiness with the love it has been seeking. I believe in these tools and these lessons that I, and the other presenters will teach, with all my heart. And I hope as you come, your heart too will find the peace and healing that you seek.

Presenters can be found here. 

January 28, 2016

How to find God as you battle Imperfection and Loneliness

I always feel inadequate for the job of writing marriage articles for FamilyShare.com. Thanks for letting me anyway. We all have much to learn in this thing called relationships. So grateful I get to learn by sharing moments He has given me to remind me of His love.



 
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