November 5, 2019

Good mom

I woke up in the middle of the night last week and wrote down a few sentences—beliefs really—that kept playing in my head. A few days later Tytus slid my planner under my bathroom door and underneath the beliefs I had written he wrote, “Mom this isn’t true. Love, Tytus”

“If my child is in pain...then I am not a good mom.” “If my child isn’t happy...than I am not a good mom.” Two sentences that sound so untrue when you write them out...but in application are so hard to see that they are just insecure lies Satan wants us to believe so we spend our lives feeling like failures when our children can’t seem to find happiness, allowing guilt when our children are in pain, and ultimately not being the parents we truly want to be all the while hiding behind beliefs that shame our every move.

For three weeks, night and day I have had to do stretches with Kennady’s tongue, basically ask her where it hurts the most and stick my finger on it and rub and pull. The first few times I burst into tears as I listened to her scream—at a pain—in all reality—I was causing. I failed for days to remember that these stretches ultimately were for her good, insured change in her mouth , and a necessary part of her healing. During these same three weeks Tytus has discovered some realities about his past and hasn’t had an easy time handling the ‘whys’ we had all faced 8 years ago. So this night when I awakened to some beliefs that had been suffocating me I laid in bed pondering what parenting looks like without guilt. It is freeing! So many times we feel guilty when our kids aren’t happy...and many times go out of our way to make sure they are. Which ultimately—can and does, if left unchecked—creates children who are entitled or think the whole world has to revolve around them. Sometimes we fail to see it is the stretching and struggle that strengthen and heal.

Pain and unhappiness...we will feel them, and so will our kids. No MATTER what we as parents do. So. In case you are feeling suffocated by a belief that you can save someone from their misery or protect them from their can’t. But you can sure cheer them on as they figure it all out. Parenthood. You got this! 👊🏼


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