August 31, 2019

Love what matters

Scott and I took the kids up to Bear Lake this weekend to celebrate—what would have been—Emmett’s 39th birthday with his mom and their family and friends. 

Yesterday, on his actual birthday, an article I was asked to write about Emmett’s story was published on @lovewhatmatters . Ever since the beginning of this journey—of feeling this urge to share his story—I always felt like Emmett was the one who was pushing me to share, and he got to heal the most through others making a better choice from hearing about his mistakes. Some days I did it begrudgingly...angry that this was another mess I had to clean up for him. Now I know it has also been a gift for me—to be the voice he no longer has...and share the moments that changed everything. And they didn’t start with an affair and a gun...they started with little choices that all added up. Ultimately costing him his life. 

I used to wonder if he knew this would have been the outcome...if he would have stayed home to fight for us that night...or stopped it all from the moment he was tempted to look the wrong way. I will never know for sure, and that’s ok, but what I do know is that if he had a chance—if he was where any one of us are today...he wouldn’t waste a minute. He wouldn’t let a day go by when his kids didn’t know how special and loved they were. He would make every memory count...because he would know that in the end that is all we have. 

Thank you Love What Matters For asking me to write this article and giving me another chance to remember the grace in our story. 😘 
I know that even on the darkest of is because of Him that we are able to stand. 


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