July 11, 2018

A few hard days . . . and then faith in the plan

There was a time when I thought I had this life thing all figured out. I followed the list—the one I thought I had to obey in order to receive everything I wanted . . . in the order and way I wanted it. 

And life kind of played out according to that plan . . . until it didn’t. I thought I had seen it all living through betrayal trauma and a murder on the same day. I thought I had been through all my hard battles. I thought life was going to go smoothly from there on out . . . until it didn’t. 

I did everything in my power from “losing” again. And then one day Heavenly Father told me I needed to be done fighting. How? After seven years of promising I would have stood by Emmett’s side and fought for our marriage—through anything—I was standing in a similar place and getting a different answer.  It was like Heavenly Father was saying, “I know you always said you would have stayed . . . but now I need you to have faith and show me that you trust me—I need you to leave.”

For seven years I had judged those who still had a husband living and walked away. To be honest, parts of me had come to believe that divorce was the coward’s way out. I truly thought—in the back of my mind—that they were just giving up. I prayed many times for answers to why these women had a chance to make things right with their husbands, and mine was taken away. Why would they just leave?

I am humbled to say that I was wrong. For months I fought it, afraid to fail. And then one day proved it was time to go. And as I have heard many women describe—and now know for myself . . . divorce is sometimes God’s answers to our prayers.  It is just as brave as staying, just a different kind. With the same leap of faith required of us to love, sometimes He asks us to move forward in ways we never thought possible—or right. He asks us to bravely walk away from something He once gave us strength to fight for. Sometimes the things that feel like a curse, are really a blessing. 

Blessed? Yes. Answers from our Heavenly Father, though they don’t always make sense in the moment . . . are always right. 

So I know some of you are thinking, “Yeah sure God told you to get divorced—l am sure He wants to break up families.” And that’s ok. I have thought that many times too in the past. And hopefully one day you won’t have to go through such a humbling lesson as I have the last seven months. But what I want you to know is that God has a plan for each of us, and they all look different. And that is beautiful. 

So today I want to tell you some of the stories of the blessings that have followed my leap of faith to move forward—again—down a different path than I had planned. 

It started the night I knew I had to get divorced. I left Teage’s basketball game with a car full of five kids, not sure where we going to sleep that night. My heart hurt, but I was full of peace. I text my sisters and asked them to meet at Ali’s house. My brother-in-law Will gave me a blessing. In more than one way the blessing told me that I was going to have a few really hard days, and then I needed to have faith in the plan. That was one thing I knew I could do. 

The next month was full of some really hard days—some a little scary. Finally the divorce was final and the kids and I got to move back in the house. The next weekend my friend Alesha Penland came to visit. (You guys might remember her. She has told her story a few times at A Reason to Stand. She lives in Utah and her infant son Lincoln was killed four years ago at a day care center). She and I actually became friends through email after Lincoln’s murder and met for the first time at the Ogden “A Reason to Stand” conference a few months later. 

But anyway, she came to visit with her cute daughter. On the way down she called and said, “Ok . . . I have been thinking all day and when I was in the temple this morning I kept thinking—You have nothing keeping you in Idaho, and lots of reasons why you should move to Utah. Just going to throw that out there. I think you should move to Utah.”

I replied—totally joking—, “Haha. Yeah. Maybe someday. You know what? Yeah. OK. You find me a nice guy in Utah—one who would want a divorced widow with five kids—and I am so there.”

Then she practically jumped through the phone and giddily said, “You know what? Oh my gosh, that’s what I am supposed to do. This guy—who lives by me and goes to my church. Ya. I am supposed to set you up with him.”

I started laughing, “Guy. Haha . NO. I was just kidding, I am not doing that whole dating thing for a LONG time. I was totally joking.”

She didn’t let it go. The whole weekend she talked about this friend of her husband’s named Scott who lived in her neighborhood, “He is 39, has never been married, he is the Elder’s quorum president in our ward, he is like the nicest guy I know. I know he has dated like a lot a lot, but has saved himself for the right one. Seriously, you have to come visit me and meet him.”

Finally I was like, “Honestly he sounds hideous, but maybe when I am ready I will humor you and come and meet him someday.”

Sunday morning she left my house, and by Monday night I got a text from her neighbor Scott. A few days later we talked on the phone. Every night that week we stayed up late talking and laughing, and by the weekend he was driving to Idaho to take me on a real date. 

You bet I was nervous. That day I checked in with my widow group and told them I had a date. They reminded me that I had made a vow to them that I would kiss at least 10 guys before I could officially start dating anyone. I laughed at the thought. I didn’t plan on dating anyone seriously for at least a year or two. 

And then there was a knock at my door. My date—who had traveled four hours—was here. He was adorable, way cuter than any of the pictures Alesha had shown me the weekend before. And he smelled amazing. 

We didn’t have a quiet moment the whole night. We laughed and talked until midnight like we had known each other for years. He told me the stories of dating for twenty years. And I told him my story of being a divorced widow with five kids—which ironically he had seen on TV a few times. Our paths were so very different, but we had so much in common. We had so much fun together. 

And the next day was the same. And so was the next day after that. 

So every weekend he made the trek to take me out. Everything was so natural, and the minute he met the kids they took him right in. He felt like a missing piece to a puzzle we had given up hope to complete. 

At the end of February the kids and I decided to drive his way. We went to a Jazz game and took a train down to temple square. We got to meet a few of his siblings and his parents. They were all so loving and made us feel right at home. 

One night his brother-in-law Chris pulled me a side while we were all cleaning up dinner and said, “Ok you want to know the truth about Scott?” I was thinking oh finally someone is going to tell me the deal why this amazing guy is still single.  He continued, “I have been in this family for thirteen years, and every time I hang out with Scott I think ‘How the hell is this guy not marriedHe is the coolest guy I know . . . and we kind of always just figured God was saving him for someone great . . . and we . . . we all hope that it is you.”




 (Double date with Alesha and Chris)



 Every week I fell a little more in love with him. Every night we talked on the phone until the early hours of the morning and every weekend we got to see each other. He would come down and stay at my neighbor’s or we would go to see him. 

We met up in Bear Lake for Emmett’s grandmas 90th birthday and he met all of Emmett’s family. I think the moment I fell the most in love with him was watching him stand by Emmett’s graveside with us while he asked Emmett’s mom about everything on the grave and all the nicknames she had for him and her favorite memories of when Emmett was a kid. 

You never think when you are a kid you will ever have to stand at the grave of the man you created five kids with and hope that another man will be able to be confident enough to know you have a whole part of your life he wasn't apart of, but he can still love you. That weekend Scott showed me what that looked like. And I can say, it takes a real man to do this job. Those of you stepping in after death or divorce and loving, you are a brave and nobel group of individuals. I can't say I could do it so empathetically and with so much honor. But you do. Thank you. 

Another weekend we met in Las Vegas for the twins birthday and A Reason to Stand, and stayed with Emmett’s mom. One night we were sending balloons up to heaven and Bostyn handed hers to me. It said something like:

Dear Daddy Emmett,
We miss you every day and love you so much. Thank you for always watching over us. I know it was you that sent Scott into our lives. Thank you for being our angel and sending us one to be with us here on earth. He is so kind and good to us, and I am so glad you found him for our mom . . . and for us. I know Heavenly Father let you pick him for me. 




(Las Vegas A Reason to Stand)




Scott is made from a different mold. He is so kind. He is so steady. One of the weekends after I introduced him to the kids as he was driving away Tytus started crying. I was taken by surprise. I said, “Buddy why are you crying?” He said, “Because I want Scott to come back.” I said, “Oh man me too buddy. What do you like about him so much?” Tytus’ response made me cry, “Mom . . . can’t you see all the light angels that are with him?”

And that’s what I feel when I am around him. Light. Peace. Love. I feel whole. 



On Mother’s Day my people proposed to me.







And on June 22nd Scott and I were married in the Ogden, Utah LDS temple. 









 I didn’t follow through with my vow. I didn’t kiss my ten guys, or go on dates for years. But I found my person. And the kids and I have never been this happy.


It’s pretty easy to stop believing in love, because love doesn’t always last on all the paths that we walk. And those we love aren't always kind. But your ability to love never dies, because we were created to love—as Christ does. 

A few hard days . . . and then faith in the plan.  When God closes a door, He opens a window. He is so good. He has blessed me in ways I never knew were possible. I have seen many miracles in the midst of what I assumed was failure. I am so thankful for a Father who knows more than I do. I am humbled by His plan. 

We are so blessed. I keep telling Scott one day we will write a book called Patiently and Impatiently Waiting. A divorced widow and 39-year-old single guy’s journey to love. He doesn’t think I am funny . . . but man what a ride we have been on to find each other. I am just so thankful he had the determination to wait for me, because there has been nothing in my life that has been so sweet. 

So you are now updated. OH and we moved to Utah. So there you have it. Life keeps moving forward and love is still possible. We are creatures worthy of giving and receiving love, no matter what our story.

Here is to new adventures and faith in a plan. God’s plan.  I trust Him and see His hand on all the broken roads that have led me here. A perfect mess that has been abundantly blessed. 

Now that I have updated you, I am going to be better about sharing my thoughts here. I took some time off to live life for me, but I am ready to share the light I have in my heart. I hope your roads have found you peace and light and I can’t wait to see everyone at my next event—which I haven’t planned yet, but still will be continuing with. And I am still working on my third book. Ok that’s a lie . . . I still plan on finishing my third book, and who knows maybe she has got a few more in there. 

Thank you for your support and love. It has been a nice break taking a step back, but man I have missed you guys. 

And Alesha, thank you for listening to that prompting to introduce us! You started something great. And Scott Boyson. Thank you for loving us. You really are an earthly angel and I am so glad you are ours. 

82 comments:

Shanakin Skywalker said...

So amazing, and really thankful for sharing because yes, we have ideas about divorce vs. staying and we don’t know till we know.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Divorce really can be a blessing in disguise. Especially when the Lord shows us a better journey than we had imagined for ourselves.

Trisha said...

Dang you for making me cry this morning! You made me question if I need to take a pregnancy test. :)

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. And so proud of how open you are so others can learn through you.

I have been through WAY too many trials myself over the last 2 years.
A daughter born with a genetic disorder we prayed she wouldn't have.
3 months later my son being diagnosed with cancer.
Hubby not being done with school so we had to move in with parents to financially make it through these trials.
Having to still work when all I wanted was to be with my kiddos 24/7 to be their caretakers.

life sure throws us some craziness.

Heather Maile said...

Love love love!!! You are all amazing...wishing you a lifetime of love, happiness, peace and laughter! With lots of memories created with us of course! ;)

Jenny said...

What a beautiful story. Thank you, and congratulations!!! You are so beautiful! Your dress is absolutely amazing. I hope to come to your next event -- I'll email you. Congrats, again!

glenda said...

Congratulations Ashlee!!! wishing you a lifetime of love, health, happiness and peace. Best of luck in this new chapter of life. The kids are all so big! Beautiful wedding pictures!

MaryJane Jarman said...

Wow, this made me totally cry with this post. I haven’t felt many feelings lately, but this sweet story broke the dam. Following God’s plan in faith without knowing the outcome can be SO scary and you do it so gracefully. I’ve followed your story from the beginning and am friends with you on FB. I want you to know what a source of strength and inspiration you have been in my life. I re read your blog when I need some inspiration. I am SO happy for you, and your happiness. If anyone deserves the ultimate happy ending it’s you. I hope I can meet you one day and share with you how the Holy Ghost has led my life in unexpected directions. ❤️

Suzi said...

Congratulations Ashley! Such amazing news! I am divorced and haven't dated for 3 years. You are so lucky to find love again. I think it is tough to find a good LDS man, who doesn't want anymore kids, since i can't have anymore. It is encouraging to know I will find love again on God's timing. ❤

Charlene Olivas said...

Thank you so much for this. My daughter is going through a divorce right now due to her husbands infidelity. You have given me hope for my daughter’s future that she will find that wonderful man that will treasure her and honor the covenants they made to each other. You are truly an inspiration, thank you for your honesty and faith. It has blessed my family and many others.

Terri Hinckley said...

❤️❤️❤️ We sure do miss Scott, but we’re glad he found you!

Joanne Oley said...

I am so happy for you! I have been so worried about you and have been checking and checking for an update. I have to ask one question though, did you wear the same wedding dress again?

carolyne b said...

Oh how wonderful for you and your children to meet that person who completes you. And for Eternal marriage. Congrats Ashley and Scott

Susie said...

Ash! You made me cry! I am so happy you are apart of our family! What a story! You are such a strong woman and mother. You have stayed a rock for your children. I respect you so much. I am so glad you and Bro have found each other. I know he is so dang happy with you ❤️ ��

Lisa said...

Congratulations Ashlee! Reading this put a HUGE smile on my face. I’m so excited for you and the kids and Scott!

Jenn said...

Love this so much. So many congratulations to you and Scott!!!�� I have known Scott for a lot of years, he truly is an amazing man in every aspect of the word. Loved reading how your relationship fell into place, couldn’t have been more perfect and the perfect example how God’s hand is in all things. I wish you both nothing but the best in your marriage!!!!!

Justine said...

Girl I am crying happy tears for you! Your post just kept getting better and better! I’m glad you took this time for yourself, and for your relationship to grow and develop within the privacy of your own world for you two and your family. Please do your next conference in Arizona hint hint ;)

Shelley Sadler said...

Is he related to Sarah Boyson from Ogden? She was my kids' elementary school teacher! Awesome post! Thanks for sharing your spirit with us all!

Anonymous said...

"It’s pretty easy to stop believing in love, because love doesn’t always last on all the paths that we walk. And those we love aren't always kind. But your ability to love never dies, because we were created to love—as Christ does.

A few hard days . . . and then faith in the plan."

These words touched my heart. I've been wondering for years why life is so unfair with the trials we go through. It still doesn't make sense to me why God would let so many people suffer especially from the choices of others.

But reading your post has lifted my spirit. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. Thank you for your example on never giving up. It makes me think that I will be ok and that my family will turn out ok too.

Lucy said...

SO GREAT!
I was worried about you... but to read this post.... Wow!!!
Enjoy your happiness, take care of it...
Love from belgium πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ ❤️

Rachel B said...

Ashlee, I hope you receive this knowing it is sent with no ill will.
You speak of Scott the same way you spoke of Shawn.
You routinely discussed the difficulty in blending families; hello, YES!
But you portrayed Shawn as an amazing partner and husband.
He assumed the role of father to your fatherless children; he got along well with Emmett's parents and all of your extended family and friends.
You presented him in your blog post as "the one" Heavenly Father sent to you and your children as a gift from Emmett.
Until you got divorced. BAM!
Then Shawn seemingly disappeared from you and your children's lives.
And now after a few months, Scott is "the one" Heavenly Father sent to you and your children as a gift from Emmett.
And Scott has blended in with Emmett's parents and all of your extended family and friends.
And he's now a father to your fatherless children.
Except they aren't fatherless this time because Shawn is still alive. And I can't imagine what it is like for your children to not only lose a father to murder, but a father to divorce too.
I guess I just wish you would be more transparent.
If Shawn wasn't a good father to your children, don't portray him as such in your blog posts. Because it sure sounded like he was!
And if he was a good father to your children; I sure pray they are still afforded a regular relationship with him just as would happen if he was their biological father and you got divorced.
You asked him to assume the role of father to your children; it's not in the children's best interests for them to lose another father simply because your marriage to him did not work.
Unless he was abusive, neglectful or immoral. But that's not how you presented him in your blog posts.
Again, I think you do a disservice to your audience by sharing so much publicly, but not publicly sharing the whole story.

Anonymous said...

Amen! And what about Shawn’s poor daughter.

Kate said...

Ashley... I’ve followed your blog since the beginning. I’ve admired your faith in the face of adversity. Please know that what I’m about to say is out of genuine kindness and concern.

You got engaged a mere four months after your divorce was final, and married just 6 weeks later. I don’t doubt you love Scott, but you uprooted the lives of your children for someone you’ve only known a few months.

I know what’s done is done, and I truly hope this is your happy ending. I hope your children are able to settle into their new community quickly and easily.

The divorce rate for a third marriage is 73%.

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You are such an inspiration to me and give me so much hope cute girl. After 21 years of marriage and infidelity issues I am moving on...and I am terrified...worried I will never find my happily ever after and you give me so much hope! Somehow I can do this!

Kate said...

I second that amen.

Anonymous said...

Good luck, you'll need it. Why not stay single for a minute, what are you teaching your daughters? Other than that you need a man? Its like you're a teenage girl that falls in love so easily with the first boy that blows in your ear.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I read the comments expecting to see congratulations and well wishes. It is hard to see that so many have a hard time getting past judgement. I admire you for sharing your faith and light regardless. Really, no one else's opinion matters when you know you are right with God. So happy to read about your happiness.

Anonymous said...

The reason you ended up divorced is you didn’t date lone enough and married the first guy who cam along. What about his daughter who was hoping for a family. Then you did this again and say God’s plan. No God gave you a brain and you should use it. You have milked your first husband’s death for all it’s worth. Move on and don’t make money off of it!

Anonymous said...

As a close friend to both Ashlee and Scott, I know that he was an answer to her prayers. If you knew Ashlee, you would know that she looks for the best in people, even when it’s hard. You see she never shared anything bad about her marriage because one, it’s nobody’s business and two she is a true example of a Christlike person. What’s the use of proving to the world that she was going thru a hard time in HER marriage. To get everyone’s approval? Or to prove she had an excuse to get out? No, rather she stuck it out trying everyday to focus on the good until she got that confirmation from God. I imagine it’s not easy having followers that watch every move you make. The girl can’t go anywhere without someone noticing her and knowing her story. She shares it to uplift others to help them realize they are not alone, not for everyone to judge what she’s doing right or wrong. It’s easy to look from the outside in, but until you’re the one walking in those shoes everyday, you just don’t know. Even after all that she’s been thru, she still looks for and focus on the good in both Emmett and Shawn. That’s who she is and always will be: a good example to all!!

Anonymous said...

Anon, above......
I dont think people have an issue with her divorcing and not sharing personal reasons behind it, its the fact that she once again jumped straight into a relationship and now marriage...... so many red flags with THAT, not her divorcing.
As a mother she should focus on herself and kids instead of acting like a teenager thats "so in love". (so many eye rolls i have)

Anonymous said...

It makes me laugh reading all of these negative comments about everyone who thinks they know Ashlee and what she has been through and they think giving their negative opinion is doing her such a great service. Whether we would have done it that way or not, it’s not our life! Until we have walked a day in her shoes, who are we to judge what is right for her or not.... Isn’t that up to her and God? If Hate and negativity is what’s coming out of your hearts, then it was there to begin with so your the ones we should feel sorry for... not Ashlee. And to you Ashlee... God is the ONLY one who has the whole story and knows the whole truth so don’t listen to all of the negativity, just listen to him. So beyond happy for you :)

Gina Domino said...

Wow so many haters who think they are the judge and jury. This woman has been through so much. And all u guys can do is past judgement. I admire ashlee and so what if it was fast.i can almost promise u she waited to be intimate until her wedding. How many of u haters can say that. Let her live her life and be supportive or grow up and leave her blog. Ashlee I'm so happy for you. You deserve every blessing that comes your way.

Anonymous said...

I can honestly say I waited to be "intimate" till marriage, and my marriage is 20 years strong. I have absolutely no hate in my heart for Ashlee, only sadness. Her past choices haven't been the best in terms of relationships and I feel like she needed to take more time to explore her heart in why she has chosen the man she has. Her first husband Wasn't faithful, her second who knows? Now a third husband? Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour. She doesn't have the best judgement and now has kids that have went through a death of a father and divorce of the second "dad" .... I really pray they don't have to part with another ����

Anonymous said...

Not a hater, just a disappointed first-time commenter. I've followed your story since Dr. Phil, and think in some ways, you've shown such strength and maturity as a woman dealing with what life has thrown at you. But I agree with those upthread that this jumping from man to man, and especially from marriage to marriage, is the opposite. You're such an amazing example of so many things, I just wish you'd be a better one especially for women (and your daughters, as mentioned) of showing, truly, the ability to stand alone, not beside a man, for a moment. So you found someone - great! What would have been the issue with waiting longer? This is your third go-round. I'm not suggesting you don't deserve love, I'm stating that by this point you should have learned that rushing in isn't wise, And in fact, that you deserve a good relationship so much that you should wait for it to be proven before you commit to it. I understand that religions (beyond just LDS - this isn't a criticism of your religion) teach that marriage is the preferred state, but if you can come to recognize that sometimes divorce is a valid choice, you should also realize that jumping from marriage to marriage is neither wise nor necessary. You can talk all day long about how it's what your children wanted, but children learn what they're taught, and what's modelled for them. And ultimately, they want their parents to be happy. What your children have seen modelled for them is their mom not wanting to be alone, so they've encouraged you not to be. Their acceptance/encouragement does not make it a good choice to jump into another relationship, let alone marriage. You're the adult - act like one, not like a teenager who just believes that this time, this guy, is the one, with a scant few months of evidence to prove it.

Reenie said...

Congrats!!

Anonymous said...

Your blog has been a real inspiration to me, thank you so much for sharing such personal thoughts and experiences that help to uplift and teach others. I was so happy to read this post, congratulations. And to all the haters, I think the fact you've had 3 men choose to marry you just shows how awesome and special you are.

Anonymous said...

Completely agree. She uses God as her excuse or reason for everything. She married this guy as quickly after a relationship as she married the last guy after a relationship. It's as though she doesn't like herself, want to be alone, or do any introspection. All of these men in then out of her kids' lives. 3 men in less than 10 years? In 2-3 years we'll be reading this exact same story with a new guy's name. What message is this sending to her children, especially her daughters? It's almost laughable at this point.

onlymehere said...

Five months of knowing him before you married him...and in the temple again at that. How can you be married in the temple three times? I'm sorry Ashlee but I really don't think that this can last.

Anonymous said...

I literally just picked my jaw off my desk! Your life, you live it as you see best, its just too bad youre not putting your kids needs in front of your own.
"A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child"

Vonda Martin said...

I have prayed for you since the first time I heard your story. My heart was so heavy for you and your children. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I am so very happy that the Lord sent you a beautiful, Godly man to share your life and the life of your children. Everyone deserves love, especially you. The lives that you have touched by sharing your story are immeasurable. May God continue to bless you daily as you have blessed others. Congratulations and God Bless you. After hearing your love story, I will keep the faith and continue to pray. :-)

Anonymous said...

I have only one comment...the devil is a very smart man in deceiving Ashlee... I don't agree with a lot of the LDS beliefs as they don't make any logical sense... But to marry so quickly on the rebound twice is scary and not setting a model of healthy relationships for her children. The dysfunction will continue by the following generation with this kind of a model.

Jocelyn James said...

Ashlee, I'm so happy for you and your family! I know that God is in the details of our lives. You've been thru hard and good times. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father has led your life and your kids lives thru it all. Don't listen to all the negativity and judgement others are giving you because in the end they don't matter And you certainly don't have to answer to any of them. I wish for you all the happiness! You truly are an amazing person, wife and mother!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Wow. You have had a long two years. Life sure does throw some crazy curve balls. Keep being strong!

Ashlee

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

❤️❤️❤️

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

It’s crazy to see life play out and what answers are given in our time of need!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

You know it!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

I can’t wait!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you Glenda! Thanks for always being here!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Wow this touched my heart. Thank you for sharing! I can’t wait to hear!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

I hope you find all the joy you deserve! The right guy at he right time will take you all just how you are! 😘

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

That is so hard. Too many stories end families with infidelity. Tell her to stay strong, it was about him...not her! Life has good to come for her!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

He is the best!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

No Scott said, “we aren’t going three deep on a wedding dress!” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I bought a new one for this day. It was fun to take Bailey and go shopping. She got to pick it out!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you so much. We feel blessed and so grateful for those truths.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

We couldn’t have asked for a better family to be part of! Thank you for loving us! And letting us love you!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you Lisa! 😘

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

He has been a steady strong guy through all these years of waiting for his time. So glad he had friends like you along the way!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you so much! It has been a nice break, but man I am excited to get back to work and spend some time with you amazing people!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Yes! That’s his sister! She is the best!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

You will. It’s hard to understand each hard thing in our life. It’s crazy to look back and see how those moments shaped you and made you a stronger version of who you once were. Hope you feel that strength today!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Belgium! How cool is that? Thank you for he support and Love from across the world!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

I never have written that it was a mistake to marry Shawn. We had many great times, many of which I was open and shared with the world. And i was very open about so many of our struggles in blending our families. Not because it has been easy, but because I felt like I should. I know I was supposed to marry Shawn. I loved him and I hurt everyday that I don’t get to see Jordyn any more. But I can tell you I learned so much about myself and about love and who I want to be in the six years I spent with Shawn. Though I would have never chose divorce, I also know that is what I had to do.

We didn’t get divorced because of blended family issues. If I had a choice I would have been Jordyns mom forever. She was and will always be in my heart one of my children.

However there are some choices that other people make that bring us to crossroads. Where we have to decide if we watch someone self destruct—or if we choose another path.

And guess what? I didn’t fail my children by walking away. They have been to hell and back in their life, and they were the ones that started pointing me into the direction of walking away. They are smart kids and never once have they..or I doubted OUR decision to find a lighter path.

So though you stand on the outside and look in—and choose to use this as a moment to put me down...or make fun of my choices. You will not hurt me by bullying me...trust me I have heard it all. And yes. I use God as my gauge of success and failure...and Him and I are good.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thanks for your stats!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Being single was for sure my plan. And what am I teaching my daughters? That they need to follow the spirit and use prayer and personal revelation to lead them in their lives. And I see them doing it every day! They are the most kind, honest, loving girls I know.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Oh this was refreshing! After finally getting some time to read these comments it has been interesting to see so many people have opinions on things that don’t make a difference in their lives. But we can only give as much light to others as we feel for ourselves. I have never been more happy to move forward and I am thankful for kind people who cheer us on!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

You are my favorite! Thank you for these kind words!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you for your kindness! It is refreshing! 😘 and if we all had your view on others lives we would find more happiness in our own!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

❤️❤️❤️

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

What sweet words. Thank you so much! 😘

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Thank you for seeing the light I have tried to share in sharing our story. It defiantly has been a unique journey...but I am grateful for all the lessons we have learned and the strength we have gained together!

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

I have lived every day for my children. And will always.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Making the decision to trust—when leaving distrust—has nothing to do with religion. And as my children carry on to future generations I hope that is what they carry with them. They—like me—might be put in situations beyond their control, but I hope that they will not only trust God...but learn to forgive and trust man kind. See the good in others and give kindness and light. And if they ever walk into situations that are not safe, I pray they will Be brave enough to choose a higher road...whatever that higher road looks like will be between them and God—defiantly not me, and most certainly not you. Some might call that dysfunction. Others might see brave souls doing their best. Mankind.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

Just to clarify. I was married to Emmett in the temple. Shawn and I got married in our neighborhood at the club house. And Scott and I got permission from our church leaders to be married in the temple.

Ashlee Corrigan Boyson said...

It’s funny. In the last few days I have talked with woman of different situations. One has been divorced for a year and been sleeping around with every guy she meets while her mom takes care of her kids. Seems a little more like a high school Love struck girl than a mom who is trying to be loyal and commit in life. Another has been widowed for four years and everyone keeps telling her she needs to get over it and move on. Seems us woman who find our selves in situations we did not choose can’t win. Just thought I would share. Ladies who are being told by outside sources that you are doing it wrong...maybe they just don’t know what is right for you. Find a path that leads you to feel light and don’t look back when your haters show up to put you down!

Nate and Kim said...

❤️❤️❤️! I have been following your story for a long time! So happy to see that you have found so much happiness! You and your family are so deserving of this blessing.

Anonymous said...

Ashley! You are SO inspiring. I have followed your blog for years and never commented. But the cruel remarks others have said are eating me alive! You show what real life looks like. And because of that I have felt the Spirit so strong reading your words. I have learned so much by your example and am thankful for your vulnerability by sharing your life. Don't quit because a few think they know what's best for you. God does. Congrats! Chin up and keep swimming! You are changing and helping lives for so many generations!

Anonymous said...

I’m sorry there are so many negative comments. You have been willing to share and be vulnerable to help all of us learn and find peace and hope. I have no doubt you follow the Spirit in all you do. It’s so easy to judge each other, but what we really need to do is love each other. I hope and pray I never have to go through what you have been through and I admire your Faith. You give me hope that I can do hard things and make it through stronger. Congratulations on your marriage. I wish you peace and happiness. It’s obvious you love your children fiercely and are always acting in their best interest.

Nick and Sarah Leonard said...

Oh my goodness Ashlee I am overjoyed for you. Thank you for taking time to share so much with us. Your books were a huge part of my healing, and I just love this post.

Anonymous said...

I think you mean definitely, not defiantly.

Anonymous said...

Only after choosing to break a sealing to the first husband you are sealed to. Men are allowed to to practice eternal polygamy and be sealed to multiple women if they choose. Current apostles and the current prophet practice this.
They do not have to choose which woman to spend eternity with. Women are not allowed to be sealed to more than one man and must choose which man to be sealed to even if they have children with and were previously an eternal family.
If you believe this doctrine it is a very unfortunate misogyny to put women in this position and not men.

Anonymous said...

It’s interesting you call Shawn out publicly for self destructing and when people have concerns about your choices they’re completely justified and you’re defensive.
I remember reading several blog posts where Shawn was open and honest about his faith struggles. They were brave and vulnerable. It’s not easy to live in Idaho or Utah and admit such things.
I was raised lds, temple married to a return missionary and was faithful for 34 years. I fully understand the religion and culture.
I related to him to a small extent because I went through my own faith crisis when I began investigating the truth claims of Mormonism.
I am forever grateful my husband stood by me and trusted and loved me through it. We’re stronger today because of it.
I’m sure there is more that goes into deciding to divorce than just differing in truth claims to Mormonism. At least I hope there is.
You can use God, personal revelation and Mormonism to justify just about anything you want. You wouldn’t believe the things we’ve endured in leaving Mormonism all in the name of god and those remaining faithful.
Not believing in the lds Church is a terrible reason to throw any relationship or marriage away.
Using faith in a religion as a means to control or decide whether or not you can continue to love and support someone, or claim they’re self destructing is very short sighted and just kind of mean.

Anonymous said...

I’m am so happy for you! I love hearing about your journey to find love again! You deserve nothing but the best this life has to offer. Are you sealed to Scott or did the church allow you to be married in the temple?

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