May 23, 2016

Only bad days

When anyone in our house is having a bad day Tytus has always said, "The only bad day is if we forget about Jesus." 
So many times his little voice has been the reminder for me to snap out of a bad moment. But last week it was him having the hard days. 
Many of you know he has horrible reactions to food, and after a crazy weekend of eating out and being very relaxed about his diet he had many rough days that followed.
I tried everything to help him, but nothing was working. 
So one afternoon I found myself in my closet crying my face off. Asking all the wrong questions and telling God how hard it was for me to have a son who turned into the hulk when his diet wasn't perfect. How unfair it was that he told me that week he hated himself and me every single day. How tired I was and how I deserved an easier road after all we had already been through. 
The closet was quiet for a while. Then pretty soon this clear thought came to my mind--"If this is hard for you, imagine what it is for him."
Instantly I saw my son as I know God sees him--the real person struggling. 
I ran out into the living room and called his name. I found him sitting on the pantry floor. I grabbed him up and said, "Tytus I am so sorry that you have to battle this every single day. That when everyone else is eating treats you patiently watch. That you only have a few foods you can eat, and most of the time they don't taste that good. I am so sorry how hard this must be for you. And it makes me mad, and sad, and I am hurting for you. And then I am the one crying about it."
He wiped a tear from my face and said, "Mom. I am sorry, this must be hard for you. Thank you for taking care of me even when I don't deserve anything." We hugged and cried. 
I tell you what. Being a parent is super hard sometimes. Especially in a world that makes us believe that anything hard isn't worth doing. 
Well I can promise you moms. We have a pretty big job to do. It isn't glamorous, but our Heavenly Father is so thankful He has willing woman who can fight these battles. 
Children. They aren't burdens--they are blessings, to help us remember that the bad days are when we forget about Jesus. He never leaves us.


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