February 28, 2016

A divorce or a wheelchair

change is inevitable.  we all know that.  some changes are easier to accept than others. the change that happened to me in 2011 has been the most difficult thing I've been through.  my whole world changed that year with one small sentence and a signature:

"that the bonds of matrimony  heretofore and now existing between the parties are dissolved and forever set aside, and that the plaintiff is granted a divorce from the defendant." 

and that was it.  my marriage of 18 years, which i thought would be forever, was over.

at the beginning of 2011, my husband decided he needed a change in his life, so he left.  divorce papers were filed in the middle of the year.  by the end of 2011, a divorce was granted.  the most devastating change of my life had occurred.

at times, i wasn't sure i was going to make it through the hardness of what i was going through.  at one point i wondered, if i had a choice, what would i choose:  the year of hell i went through in 1987 when i was in a car accident that left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair; when i sustained multiple internal injuries which almost took my life over and over and over again;  when i spent 6 1/2 months in the hospital just trying to live....or would i choose the year of hell i went through in 2011 when my husband left.  in my mind i chose 1987.   after 5 years of pondering this, i do know divorce is more painful...

through this change in my life, i am learning many great and wonderful things. i've learned that i am stronger than i ever thought. i've learned i can do really hard things. i've learned that i will not break. i've learned kindness, humility, love, patience and hope. i've learned how to truly forgive.  i've learned, amidst the most terrible experience i've been a part of,  life is still a blessing.  you know that expression "what  doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?"  if that statement is true, here's how i feel i should look right about now...


i am steph.  while i may not be able to physically stand,  i will stand for goodness and faith and hope! 

let's roll!


Presenting March 5th, A Reason to Stand. Reserve your seat


Lori said...

I think this, along with a message a friend shared with me, really puts into perspective just how hard a divorce is. My friend lost a daughter in a horrific car accident, where three girls died. She said she thought nothing could be harder than losing a child, until her husband admitted to cheating on her (for several years), and she divorced him. She said it was the hardest thing she has ever experienced and has taken years to get over. She was a class act through out the entire thing. Never bad mouthed him, or the other woman=AMAZING. I had not idea it had been so devastating, until she recently shared that. If you're reading this...DON'T cheat on your spouse! Thanks for the visual, Steph! You're VERY strong :-)

Caroline said...

I love Stephanie Patterson with all of my heart! She was my young women's leader in high school and played such a big part in shaping who I am. She is one tough (and sweet and hilarious) cookie!

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